What is childhood emotional neglect?

Childhood emotional neglect isn't always so obvious.  Childhood emotional neglect occurs when a parent or other caregiver does not respond enough to a child's emotional needs.  Because emotional neglect is a failure to act, it is not always so obvious as physical or emotional abuse might be.  Often it is unintentional, but it can still have profound effects.  

Emotional neglect can take the form of a parent completely ignoring a child's emotional needs, but more often, a parent just may not recognize or notice their child's needs or may respond in a way that is dismissive of those needs.  Statements like "It is not that bad" or "Stop being so dramatic" can dismiss a child's feelings and leave them feeling invalidated.  When parents or caregivers don't respond to a child's emotional needs or invalidate that child's feelings, even unintentionally, it can leave the child feeling like their feelings don't matter or like their feelings are wrong. To cope with this, children often bury their feelings and develop unhealthy coping skills that stick around through adulthood. Does any of this feel familiar?

Some signs that you may have grown up with childhood emotional neglect are: 

• Feeling empty inside

• Fear of being dependent on others

• Feeling flawed or "broken"

• Difficulty feeling or expressing emotions

• Feeling like you don't know who you really are

• Lack of self-compassion

What are some of the long term effects of childhood emotional neglect on adults?

• Depression

• Anxiety

• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

• Poor self-discipline

• Poor self-confidence

• Feelings of guilt and shame

• Lack of identity

• Difficulty trusting others

• Excessive Anger

What can be done about it? 

Here is the good news!  You don't have to let your childhood emotional neglect continue to effect you. Once you know the reason behind some of your difficulties, you can start learning new skills to improve your life. You can learn how to recognize your emotions and learn how to express them. You can learn how to identify your needs and how to get those needs met.  A licensed mental health provider can help you learn new ways to cope and heal from childhood emotional neglect.