What Your Child Needs From You During a Divorce
Divorce is so difficult for everyone involved, but especially the children. It is important for children to maintain a secure relationship with both parents and not be put in the middle of your relationship challenges with your partner. These are the things children need from their parents during a divorce:
I need both of you to stay involved in my life. Even if you don’t live close by, please write letters, make phone calls, and ask me lots of questions about who I spend my time with and what I like and don’t like to do. When you don’t stay involved in my life, I feel like I’m not important and that you don’t really love me.
Please stop fighting and work hard to get along with each other. Try to agree on matters related to me and my needs. When you fight about me, I think that I did something wrong and I feel guilty.
I want to love you both and enjoy the time that I spend with each of you. Please support me and the time that I spend with each of you. If you act jealous or upset, I feel like I need to take sides and love one parent more than the other.
Please communicate directly with my other parent so that I don’t have to send messages back and forth. I want you to talk with each other so that the messages are communicated the right way and so that I don’t feel like I am going to mess up.
When talking about my other parent, please say only nice things, or don’t say anything at all. When you say mean, unkind things about my other parent, I feel like you are putting me down and expecting me to take your side.
Please remember that I want both of you to be a part of my life. I count on my mom and dad to raise me, to teach me what is important, and to help me when I have problems.
Here are some great resources to help you out when you are trying to parent through a divorce:
